Its the day before Thanksgiving, and I'm procrastinating like never before. Now, as everyone who knows me knows, I hate fucking loathe cleaning. I honestly think it is one of the worst things about being a grown up. I can pay bills and go grocery shopping till blood starts coming out of my ears, but when it comes to cleaning, I'm like a faulty grenade. You think that there is going to be this big explosion and you know what happens? Nothing. That's it. Nothing. I dislike cleaning more than I dislike shaving my legs...or shaving anything for that fact. It just strikes me as a pain in my ass and not worth the time. However, I do have someone to keep me on my toes. (I'm actually NOT talking about Bradley this time) Reilly is amazing at keeping me on my feet for cleaning. She adores cleaning. Wiping windows, wiping up tables, pretty much anything where she can spray something and wipe it up and/or clean up with a Magic Eraser.

Anyway, tis the season to be thankful. So here is a list of things I'm thankful for:

1. My daughter. - I don't know where I would be without her. The last 2 years and 8 months have been a roller coaster ride for me. Staying up all night with an infant, watching her crawl and walk and start talking; its all been amazing. I have a little girl who just amazes me every day with the things that come out of her mouth and what she does. And as much as she stresses me out sometimes, I couldn't have asked for a better child. She is my life, and she's what keeps me going when times get hard for me. I know that even when Bradley isn't here, I can always count on her for a hug and a kiss when I'm upset, and "I love you mommy" are some of the best words I've ever heard. She can always make me smile. Being a mom is one of the best feelings in the entire world and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
2. My husband - I've had more than my fair share of boyfriends...some of them good, some of them bad...but they were never what I was really looking for in a partner. Meeting Bradley at the bar a year ago, in the midst of my crazy, hectic life was also among the best things that happened in my life. After I left baby-daddy, I lost a lot of friends and even more so when I decided to get married so early, but thats the way it goes I guess. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have changed a thing. I am happier in my relationship now than I ever have been. And even though he's been gone most of our first year of marriage, and we've had our ups and downs, I am more in love with him today as I write this than I was a year ago. He changed my whole life. And I am so proud of him...for who he is as a person, as a father, as a husband, and for what he does for me and Reilly, and how he was able to take on the task of being a father. He is an amazing man. I could honestly go on and on about him. He's just wonderful to me and to Reilly, and I've always wanted her to have a great father. And thats what she has.
   
3. My family - As always, I love my family. They are so supportive of me and [most] of my choices. My mom is my rock...my shoulder to cry on. They are always there when I need someone to take Reilly. Even though Jake and I aren't as close as I'd like, he's also an amazing brother and an uncle [thought he called Reilly "it" for about a year of her life] but him and Trisha have always been there for me, whether I need someone to watch Ri while I go to the Dr. or when I just need a couple hours of much needed mom time to go see a movie. My dad is always the one who I can call when I have a problem with my computer or when I need money, and as much as I would have hated to admit this about 4-5 years ago, my parents actually know what they are talking about. They are all amazing.
   
4. My friends - I'm talking about my real, true friends who have been there for me. To let me bitch and complain when something isn't going the way I want it to, or feeling like they can turn to me when they just want to talk. Or open up to me when they wouldn't to anyone else. I am truely blessed for the people who have stuck by me the last couple years. To the friend who I've been really close to, even though we just started out as co-workers. To the friend who I've just met in the last year or so. To the friend who I' had been fighting with for a long time. I only have a handful of real, true friends, and I don't know what I would do without them. To the friend who I can call at 2 am in the morning after having one too many drinks and just cry because he actually knows what I'm going through. All of my friends will have a special place in my heart, and I hope that no matter where life [or the army] takes me, we can stay in touch and stay amazing friends.
5. The army - Now, this one is a little confusing considering how much I bitch about the army. However, with Bradley being in, the army has given me so much that I haven't had in the last couple years. A steady income, health insurance, money for housing, an endless supply of support and information. I am truely greatful for what Brad being in the army has helped make my life become. I don't know exactly where we would be, but I can promise it wouldn't be in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car, our bills paid, and food in the fridge. 
6. The men & women who serve - Finally, for all the men and women who are over in the middle east, and every where else in the world. For those of you who are missing the holidays with your loved ones, and for those of you who get to spend these next couple of months with them. You are all amazing people who do amazing things. Thank you so much for everything you do for us. Despite some peoples views, I would like to think that everyone is proud of our service men/women and are thankful for them.
   

That is my thankful list this year.

I'm finally off to shower, an hour later than I wanted, and I can almost guaruntee that as soon as I get my hair wet, Bradley is going to call me, hopefully to tell me he got his christmas present. lol.

<3<3<3<3

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!

First off, it is Veteran's Day today. So first, I just want to say THANK YOU to all of our service men & women who have or are serving our country. You are all amazing. And to my husband: I am so proud of you. You are not only an amazing soldier, but an amazing husband and father as well. I can't imagine my life without you.

Okay. Now. So we've been home from Ohio for a week. The trip was amazing. I enjoyed spending time in my in-laws. I'm so lucky that I got good ones. We didn't really do anything amazing, but it was just good to see everyone and hang out with the family.

So since we've been back I've been sick. I threw up the night we got back and I've been fighting off a stuffy nose/cough for the last week and its been gross. I've been all doped up on night & dayquill. haha. But I've also been in this...idk...nesting mood. Kinda like when I was pregnant with Reilly. Except this time I think its because Bradley is coming home in about 71 days [give or take]. I want the house to be perfectly clean and tidy for when he comes home, the kitchen full of food that I can use to make the delicious recepies I've been trying out. So I'm pushing myself to get the house clean. Scrubbing walls, cleaning cabinets, etc. So its taking a toll on my getting better.

Reilly has been doing fantastic as always. She's been talking about wanting a baby brother and she told me the other day "mommy & daddy get a baby brother" Umm we'll work on that when daddy gets home Ri. Haha. Her and Penny have also bonded very nicely. Penny is sleeping in her room at naptime and Ri loves it. They spend all day playing [or at least as long as Penny allows it] and Ri has finally gotten over her fear of cats [and dogs as well!] Speaking of, I wanna get a dog, I just don't wanna pay our landlord $400...and I don't think we'd be able to hide a dog well...not that our landlord comes down very often, but knowing my luck, as soon as we got a dog, we'd be seeing him around, and I am in no mood to hide a dog. So we'll see.

Wow. Some tangent. Ha.

Off to make coffee.

<3

Some funny thing my 2 1/2 yr old does:

*Puts something on her head...it could be anything...and says the phrase "look at me! I'm a hat!"
*Sings normal little kid songs: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Itsy Bitsy Spider, ABC's, Baby Bumble Bee....along with Queens Bicycle & We Will Rock You, and Lily Allen's Smile.
*Asks me if I'm okay after I do anything: cough, sneeze, sniff...etc.
*Loves the army boys. They love her back [note to self: that maybe a problem later] And likes watching Army Wives with me.
*Draw smiley faces
*Runs around the house with a cat toy laughing her ass off while Penny chases her
*Sits on my lap, plays with my hair or shirt and says "OH! That cute!?"
*Or she says "grandma & grandpa get that for you?" in her cute high pitched voice.
*She reads "Heiny eeny meeny eeny" -- or "Once upon a time, mommy & daddy & grandma & grandpa & jake & trish.....heiny eeny meeny eeny"

This is just a small list. But she's seriously hilarious.
Hahaha.

I love my kid. Sucks her daddy is in Iraq and doesn't get to see any of this.

So Roo and I left on Friday for our awesome adventure to Ohio. Reilly fell asleep about 20 mins after takeoff from Seattle, and we both slept most of the way to Dallas. We got there at 5:30 AM [Dallas time, sooo 3:30 AM Washington time]. We got off the plane. I got coffee and Reilly got hot chocolate and fruit...which she didn't eat/drink much of as she passed out on the seats about an hour into our layover. I carried a sleeping child onto the plane at Dallas and she slept the entire flight, waking up, literally, seconds before landing in Dayton. Ahhh. God I love it when its that easy. My father in law picked us up and we talked all the way back to the house. We got here, settled in, and I took a nap. I woke up because Reilly was coming in and waking me up. We went to Aunt/Uncles house for the Annual Pumpkin Carving Contest, which was a blast.

We came home around 10, and both of us were OUT. The next day, Roo, Nannie & I went to the store to get pullups and wipes, and we went to the Ohio River. It was a super nice day outside. She pretty much refused to cooperate. Goofball.

Ohio river

So the last couple days we've just been hanging out. We went to GoldStar. Seriously. Fucking delicious. I know Nannie and PopPop are probably just exhausted, but it's been a fun time so far. We've done some shopping.

And as you can see from the picture, Roo will be Dorthy this year for Halloween. She'll make a super cute one. *sigh* Its time to go get the girl child ready for bed. Then I'm going to sit down and enjoy my beer and just hang out. Maybe read a little bit. Who knows. I'll post a couple more pictures. More will be coming soon, I can promise you that!!

Much Love From Ohio!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
---K

Its unlike me to post more than once a day. At least about something significant. That rarely happens. After my previous post, I realized that I was in need of more...soul searching is the phrase I've been using. But that's not so much the case. Its more...putting things into perspective for myself. What I want to take away from life. What I want to come out of my relationship with Bradley. What I want to come out of this wonderful family that I have started, as well as the wonderful families that I have. I am including my in laws in that. This year as been some what of a struggle for me. I have had everything I could ever want in the world, and then, with the blink of an eye, its so abruptly taken away from me. More than once. Its hard to lose someone over and over again -- for a week, two weeks, two months...etc. Its challenging, gut wrenching and heartbreaking...the only peace you ever get is when you see them again. [Ah, the life of Kimberly -- getting side tracked]

I've decided what I want out of life...just not the specifics. Of course, I want the generic, ordinary, house, kids, and dog scenario. Who doesn't want that? With the small, but big enough, yellow house and the white picket fence with a huge oak tree out front that the kids can play on from time to time, until their grown up and their revving the engines of their old beat up cars that they helped their dad build to running condition, bringing their boyfriends or girlfriends home for dinner and the awkward silence at the dinner table during the first meeting. Who doesn't want that? Okay, in MY head, dad has a shotgun clearly in sight that scares the living tar out of the boyfriend...but only because it would be entertaining. I'm not talking about a job either. Though I do know what I would like in a career, wanting it, and having it are two completely different things, and as of right now, I do not have the time, nor the energy to be a full time stay at home mom as well as a full time wife and student. I'm working on it.

I want what ultimately everyone wants out of life. Happiness. I was telling Bradley today about my "soul searching"...about us and myself. How I wanted perfection. That seems a little far fetched, I'll agree to that, but that doesn't mean its not worth the try. Bradley and I have been through a lot these last couple months he's been deployed. It has not been easy most of the time. Sometimes we share what we're going through with friends and family, and sometimes we don't. But we have been able to keep ourselves in check. Or, more likely, he's been able to keep me in check. I want to help...to build our relationship in the next couple months, work with what we're each dealing with as individuals and as a couple, and hope it turns out for the best. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this to him [sorry baby] that I am worried sick that our relationship won't be the same after this deployment. I know its not uncommon. But in my quest for perfection and balance between us, including its ups and downs, its a necessity that we try to stay as functional as possible. I had a very good friend tell me that its not going to be the same when he gets back. In fact, I've had more than one person, all very reliable sources, tell me the same thing. I think sometimes I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but I won't let it show. I know how valued my patience will be. I'm expecting bells and whistles and basically all of the 4th of July fireworks, without them actually happening in real life. This is all apart of my plan for "perfection".

I have some plans to get through what I personally have been going through. I'll go ahead and say that I've decided to go to a therapist and leave it at that. I have my own personal struggles...demons if you will, that I need to get a hold of and past before Bradley comes home. If anyone is worried, no, I'm not taking medication, no I'm not suicidal, this is just your basic therapy. Nothing extremely exciting. Just a face to talk to that can help.  But this is helping the part of ME that is going to help OUR relationship. I'm confident in that fact. I also came to the conclusion by myself. I feel that this is the best choice for me at the moment and Bradley has been more than supportive in that decision. 

I have been super emotional lately. Crying for happy reasons and sad reasons. I suppose its all apart of....rebuilding as Bradley would say...mentally preparing ourselves in some ways to be together as a functioning couple again, instead of over 6000 miles apart. My soul searching...getting perspective...isn't over in the least. I think I've found a path to take my life down that ends up with me on the winning end, regardless. I ultimately want to be happy. For the rest of my life. I don't want to think back and regret, doubt, be mad at myself now, or in the future.

I want to be old with black hair [obviously because I refuse to stop dying it], sitting next to Bradley on our porch swing, waiting for the kids to come over for dinner with our grandchildren.  Or great grandchildren if I'm as old as I sound in that description.

I'm working towards that. I look forward to Bradley coming home and us really starting our married life together...we only had a couple months our first year of marriage and we'll never get that back -- but we do have many more years ahead of us to make up for it. Especially with us planning our mini honeymoon up to the Olympic Peninsula. It will be an amazing couple of days...ones that we will never forget. I'm excited. We both are actually.

I think my blogs are going to be more like this. With the occasional off day. I love writing like this. If only I could put forth this kind of effort into writing a novel or something. Now that would be an interesting idea. Kimberly Oberklaus, writer. Nice idea eh?

Plus -- I have a fan. :) You know who you are.

<3

I bought the first book, not even a week ago. In the last...50-60 hours or so, I've managed to read all 4 books in the series. A personal best I'm assuming...I haven't tallied the number of pages yet. Anyway, the series I was reading was the Twlight series by Stephanie Meyer. When the last book came out, there was so much hype, I almost couldn't keep myself away...anyone who knows me knows I'm a sucker for a good book. I believe Clarissa was the first one I actually knew who said anything good about it, so I put in on my mental to do list. In all honestly, I started putting it off. I wasn't one for vampire stories...I never have been. I've tried reading them before, multiple times. Its like sci-fi to me. I can't stand that stuff [or the Lord of the Rings...but thats besides the point] However lately, I've been looking for an out from reality. When the Harry Potter series came out, I was completely immersed in it. I would stay in my room for hours just reading. I'm not quite sure how many times I've read those books.

Wow I'm getting really off track with where I wanted to go.

I'm not going to intentionally spoil the books, maybe just give a little plot in my writing. This is a warning.

All in all its your basic love story with some action involved. Think The Notebook mixed with...I dunno...the Blade trilogy...just for the sake of similarities. The love that evolves between the two main characters is astounding. Bella, the human, and Edward, the vampire. [I'm honestly not trying to give a break down of the book...lol] That two people, who lived totally different lives, could have such a strong connection to each other. The way it hurts when they're apart. The control that they lacked when they were together. It was all so....real. [I told you I got immersed] When I was reading those books, live all but vanished around me. This romance was the thing that most young girls grow up wanting, but can hardly ever attain. There was something so pure about that kind of love. It was selfish, and unselfish all at the same time. When I wasn't reading, and I was alone with my thoughts, I started thinking. My first thought, of course, was were there really vampires out there. I'm assuming no one will ever know for sure. My second thought, was what would I do if I were in her [Bella's] position. Would I....could I sacrifice everything I had become accustomed to for the one that I loved with all my heart? [If you're wondering, yes. I could. I did come to that conclusion] Then I stopped thinking about the vampire thing all together. Of course it was part of the story, but in my mind, it didn't matter. I started thinking about the love. And I thought to myself...is it possible to love someone so much? That your world would just crumble without them? That the mere thought of you being without them is almost too much to handle?

Of course it is. Duh. Then I started thinking about my previous relationships. Of course I had loved each one of my previous significant others to different degrees. Russ was my first love. We all have one. Randy was more of a...convenience I think. A space filler, if you will. But I did love him. Brett...out of my previous relationships, my connection to him was the strongest. Most people would assume [and would be wrong] that I still might have feelings towards him. I don't. Just stating the obvious. But we grew apart as a couple, due to complications and commitment issues...not on my part. By the time I left him, I didn't care anymore. There was nothing for me to lose, as I had already lost whatever I had before. [That sounds really depressing, but its not. Promise] That however, was when Brad walked into my life. In all honesty, I can say that he was....still is...my angel in disguise. Though I'm still not sure exactly what he sees in me sometimes, I know he's there. I remember when we first started talking...which wasn't long after we met...the next day actually. I got butterflies in my stomach when I talked to him. I was nervous. And not, all at the same time. It is an honestly weird sensation to describe. But I'm sure others have felt it. I was instantly comfortable with him. As our...friendship...and then our relationship was ultimately growing, I started realizing that I had never been this comfortable with anyone. Like I said before, my other relationships were to a different degree. But this was the first time I could actually say that I knew I had nothing to worry about. Of course, thats not to say that I don't worry...but they are worries of different things. I never had to worry about him and me. The attraction was instantaneous on both sides. I believe that after we met, the first time we went out, he told one of his friends he wanted me to have his babies. I never doubted that it would happen. Even then. It never scared me. Spending my life with him never scared me...even though I was a nervous wreck on our wedding day, standing there in front of my relatives, friends, the judge...and if a higher power exists...them too. I'm not sure he could tell though. Maybe he could. But the nervousness that I felt was not towards him or what I was doing...just irritable, normal behavior for me. While reading these books, oddly enough, all those emotions I felt, and still feel, came flooding back to me. Its hard to put into words...for me anyway. A simple 'I love him' doesn't even seem to make a dent. With him gone...my heart...everything really...hurts. Physically. I've never felt that before. I've never felt so...empty. I'm sure I've said this all before...or at least a variation of it, but words....nothing seems to validate what I feel inside. I will admit, I have had my ups and downs lately. But nothing that I could ever possibly do would change how I feel about him.

Love is a difficult emotion to comprehend sometimes. There are things in our life that we will love unconditionally. There are things....people....that we will love no matter what. Our children. Our parents. There are things that we love. Like that pair of cute shoes at the store. Or the car we drive. Then there are the people who we can't control our feelings for. Like the old saying goes, "you can't help who you fall in love with".

I thought I was happy at some point in my life with my other serious relationships. I thought I had found my match with Brett. I was wrong. I had been willing to settle for the time though. If Brad hadn't been there, that night, I have no doubt in my mind I would have stayed with Brett for the convenience. It was the known. But I had no problem stepping out into the unknown to find what I was looking for in a best friend, a partner, a true love. The simplest things...even thinking about them...still give me butterflies. Cuddled up next to each other at a loud bar, whispering to each other. Falling asleep next to each other, and the overwhelming feeling of comfort that I feel when I'm with him. Nothing can go wrong in my world when he's with me...even though things do go wrong. I feel like I can handle it better.

I guess I started rambling. There was a point to this blog. True...pure love is there. Its attainable. Maybe not right away. But its there. Its the kind of love you would put yourself in danger for to protect. The kind of Romeo and Juliet love. [I know, cliche reference]

I found that love. I found my Edward so to speak. The one person I would do anything for...anything to be with. I found him. I honestly hope that those of you [who actually read my blog for starts] who haven't found that kind of love do. And to those of you who HAVE found it? Congratulations.

<3

Okay. Don't make fun of me. You probably will...just...try not to.

The other night I was watching the Food Network. I was watching a show about food myths.

One of the questions was: Is it true that you can cook salmon in the dishwasher?

Now, if any of you know me well at all, I like weird things. I like proving that yes, in fact, things like this CAN be done. Soooo what did I do?

I had a sink full of dishes that needed to be washed.

I picked up some salmon and lemons at the store.
Did the dishes. But before I started the dishwasher....

Salmon out of the fridge.
You need 2 decent size pieces of in foil
Drizzle some olive oil on the in foil and put the salmon on top.
I squeezed lemon juice on it, and put two slices of lemon on top. Other seasonings if you wish. I personally would have loved some Adobo Seasoning [Brooke knows whats up]

Put the 2nd piece of tinfoil on top. Tightly fold up the sides and place in top rack of dishwasher.

Salmon going into dishwasher

Put soap in and run it through a normal cycle.

[side note: make sure you do this in a timely manner so your not eating at 10 at night like me because it has to go through the entire wash cycle]

After the cycle is complete, carefully take out the salmon...it will be hot.

Put it on a plate and ENJOY!!

Salmon done

This is probably one of the best things ever. Its not messy [except for any sides you have to cook separately] and you don't even have to think about it.

Bradley's already told me that I'm ridiculous for doing this, but whatever. :P

Show us your favorite person in uniform.

My baby

Ugh. Seriously I am fucking tired of dealing with Reilly and her terrible 2's shit. I know, I know, all kids go through it...I'm sure some are worse than others, and its just a phase, blah blah blah blah. I'm tired of it. Lets draw up a quick little list of shit that pisses me off:
-The constant need to sleep in mommy's bed and not reilly's bed.  seriously kid. I need my space. I LOVE sleeping in the same bed as her, I really do, as she's not smacking me in the face anymore and tends to keep to her side of the bed...but I have grown up things I wanna do. Like read a book.
-The back talking. I know that isn't going to change, but damnit, a little less crap from her would be nice.
-The constant getting into things.  Climbing UP the pantry, not accepted. Getting popsicles at 830am, not accepted. Stuffing toilet paper into the toilet....yup! Guessed it...not accepted.

Gah. I need a break from mommy life. Everything is a battle with her right now. Getting dressed, taking a nap, going out, doing anything besides sitting in front of the TV or blowing bubbles..
I feel like I'm just at a complete loss with her and I'm not sure how to go about it calmly, without losing my cool and survive this whole thing.

Maybe if Brad was back home it would be different. And its hard to explain to Reilly that "I'm sure daddy would really like if you didn't jump off the couch" or "Do you really think daddy would be happy if you sat that close to the TV?"

*sigh*

If anyone ever read my blog, I would assume that someone would be saying something, but, wtf.

You try sitting at home with a crazy two year old by yourself 24/7.

Eat it.

<3

Woman Summoned To Court Over 63-Cents In Child Support

COLUMBIA, SC (WLTX)--A Sumter County woman was summoned to court for a child support payment less than a dollar, due to the Sumter County Family Court's shift to a new computerized system.

Sumter County Family Court officials began clearing out the old system. They found a woman who owed less than a dollar, and her case almost made its way to court.

For 45-year-old Kathleen Threatt, the trouble began with a simple trip to her mailbox. Signed, sealed and delivered by a deputy to her Wedgefield home was an affidavit from Family Court saying she owed $0.63 in child support.

"I had to apologize to the officer on the phone because I was laughing so hard," she said. "It doesn't make sense."

Threatt called the court thinking it was a misunderstanding, because not only are her children no longer children, but she's also a grandmother by both of them.

She even remembers receiving a letter at the conclusion of her child support duties saying she had paid in full. Somehow, some small change slipped through the cracks and resurfaced nearly 12 years past its due date.

"My problem is the waste of resources," she said. "This is crazy."

"It's a waste, but that's part of what we do, unfortunately," said Sumter County Clerk of Court Jamie Campbell. "We don't have the authority to wipe it away."

He said that each case has to go before a judge even though many cases like Threatt's will be tossed out.

"As we're cleaning up, we're gonna see some instances like this," Campbell said. "Now, we have a chief administrative judge willing to work with us, we'll catch it before it gets out to the individual."

Threatt is just happy to help make sense of the case before it costs anyone else. "It's not like it's a major relief that's gotten taken care of. It's still amazing that it was even brought up in the first place," she added.

Neither Campbell nor Threatt could explain where the $0.63 charge came from, but nonetheless, it's been taken care of.

If you receive a similar summons, officials ask you to call them to figure out the best way to deal with it.

The new case management system is expected to be ready in about a year.

I am ALL for people [mother's and father's alike] getting their child support on time and in full...however, this story takes the cake. She got a letter stating that she had paid her child support in full, and then 12 years later, $0.63 resurfaces? And what a waste of tax-payers money -- sending out a police officer, getting the lady to court. It makes me laugh.

In completely unrelated news:

There are MANY reasons why I love football season. You can eat a lot of junk food, drink beer early in the morning, yell and scream at the TV, and just generally support your favorite team[s]. What else do I love about football season? Guys in tight pants. [insert drooling right here] Plus, I like that pro-football players get so into it. No, no, no I love it. I'm convinced its because I was born on Superbowl Sunday [1985, 49er's won against the Dolphins...hell yes and a little tid bit of information, from Wiki: It was one of the most watched games in history with an estimated 115.9 million viewers. This game also was the first time television commercials ran for a million dollars a minute.]  I'm off to buy beer & nummy chips for the Seattle game. Hopefully the Bangels win this one...its tied right now at 13-13. Shyt.

<3