I'm thankful, too.

My thankful list for the last year..

Ben.. he has been there for me unconditionally, and was there when no one
else was. When I felt trapped and hopeless, he was still there and kept me
going. When he should have completely run the other way, and I was battling
what I needed, versus what I wanted.. he was still there, and fought for me.
He has helped me become a better person, a better friend, a better mother
and better lover. I have so much love and respect for him.. and I can
honestly say, after being with him for the last year and some odd months I
still look at him and feel completely in love, as I did when we first met..
only, now it's comfortable, loving.. exactly what it should be.

The kids.. We've had to struggle for the last few years. But things are
finally settled down so much, we are normal [normalish.]..

    ...Xander is finally getting help for everything he needs help
with, and is learning to overcome the unfairness we all experience in
society and daily life. He's such a strong kid for everything he has seen
and gone through, he's funny and talkative and completely loving and
emotional. His smile is infectious and although unorganized, he always knows
where his favorite things are.

    ...KK has been able to flourish as an individual, and has turned
into such a little firecracker, with such a silly personality. She is in
very many ways, such a female.. but loves to still hang out and get dirty.
She's 4, going on 14 most of the time... sweet, giving, sassy & a great
sense of humor. And, where ever it came from.. she stands up for herself,
and let's what she's feeling be known.

Friends.. the few left, the few who are still there. The one's who said
they understood why I gave up going out. The one's who understood dependancy
problems, and helped me through them. The one's who still called. The one's
who were okay with taking afternoons to hang out with coffee, over nights at
the bar. The one's who have watched my kids when I needed peace and quiet,
and sanity. The one's who listened to me cry, and laugh. Or drove me around
at 2am when I was upset... or drove me home when I had too many drinks. I
love the few of you.. and would do anything for you too.. anytime, anywhere.

My Family.. I don't know how they put up with me. But I love my family so
much, for helping me grow up.. for helping me with the kids, for helping me
financially when I needed it.. and embracing me, and letting me know I'd be
okay as a single mom. That I'd be okay with changes and choices I was
making.

Opportunities.. I have gotten to see and do things this last year with Ben
I highly value. Things, though not exotic, or far away.. things I cherish,
that other's may not. Laying in a comfortable, warm bed being held. Walking
on beaches. Swanky dinners & martini's. Cooking excursions. Unexpected bouts
in the Northwest and surpises when I'm down. A new job.. and divorce.
Knowing.. I will be okay, and things always turn out better.. even when
thigns seem low and saddening, they always get better..

New Beginnings.. that says it all. And I hope my new beginnings phase
continues into the next few months with a few things ;)

And Lastly.. being happy, finally. Being loved, finally.

xoxo
brooklyn. <3